Happiness should come from within, not from the person around you.


To achieve happiness, first of all, we must be at peace and comfortable with ourselves. From there, we can promote this state in everything we do.

Happiness should come from within, not from the person around you.

Last update : April 09, 2022

Happiness can be built in different ways. Whether alone or next to a loved one, this positive and nurturing emotion always comes from a very specific place: our emotional brain.

Therefore, we must be clear about an essential aspect: being with someone we love is wonderful, but sometimes, even if we have the best partner in the world, if we are not comfortable with ourselves, complete happiness will never be possible.

Well-being, balance and joy always arise from within us. The peace of our hearts, feeling good about everything we are and have, is the best path to happiness, whether alone or in company. We invite you to think about it.

Happiness is an inner journey.

In recent decades, if there is a subject that is increasingly in demand in bookstores, it is that referring to personal fulfillment or how to build our happiness in these difficult times. For example, we have within our reach renowned authors such as psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, professor of positive psychology at Harvard and a true guru on the subject.

So, something that Professor Sahar reminds us is that to be happy, people have to work in three dimensions:

  • allow yourself to be human, that is, accepting negative emotions, accepting our mistakes and our weaknesses.
  • Learn to connect mind and body.
  • Develop and practice gratitude.

As we can see, these dimensions are not external. In other words, the Happiness, according to one of the best experts on the subject, does not depend on material possessions or our status. It is an inside job. We cannot ignore that today we are all aware of the great importance of aspects such as emotional intelligence, stress management, inner connection, empathy…

Investing in personal development is a direct bridge to happiness and also towards the improvement of our personal relationships. Without this first step, without this responsibility towards ourselves, growth is not possible. Well-being is not real.

We also advise: between arguing and being happy, I prefer to be happy

A look that learns to connect with its own needs

It was from the 90s with authors like Daniel Goleman that we finally learned the importance of emotional intelligence. And not only that. In studies like the one published in 2005 by the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, we are reminded that there is a correlation between factors such as emotional and behavioral compassion and being happier.

Also, A recommended book on this subject and that can invite us to reflection is You can be happy in Alaska. Approached from cognitive psychology, it helps us in a playful and practical way to face situations as complex as stress, depression or anxiety.

Likewise, one aspect that this reading reveals to us is the following: beyond where we are, even beyond the people around us, there is the ability to take care of ourselves. love us A look that knows how to respect and understand itself knows how to look at the present with hope.

People were created to be loved, things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is that things are loved and people are used.

“You can be happy in Alaska” -Rafael Santandreu-

Happiness is the absence of fear.

Happiness is above all the absence of fear. In addition, to be happy you have to know how to face adversity, know how to apply appropriate strategies to work on negative emotions, put aside the relationships that harm us, the dynamics that exhaust us…

Fear has essential evolutionary utility. Thus, studies like the one published in 2002 in the magazine Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, show us that thanks to this dimension we have managed to survive as a species. However, we can say that sometimes we make excessive and abusive use of this dimension.

They are those extreme (and everyday) situations in which we allow fear to take absolute control of our lives. An example of this is the following situations:

  • Fear to loneliness.
  • Fear of not being loved as one would like.
  • Fear of not achieving the goals we set for ourselves every day.
  • Anxiety of not being as others expect us to be.
  • Fear that things will change -or not change-.
  • Worry about losing certain things, certain people.

All these are situations that can be known to us. So the first step in building that inner happiness can be rationalize the fear, understand it and reduce it. One way to achieve this is precisely to strengthen our self-esteem and avoid being “attached” to things or people.

Learn to walk lightly

Walking lightly does not at all mean that we should not have anyone on our side. Unlike. Few things are as wonderful as holding hands with our family, our partner, those friends who are treasures in our hearts.

  • However, these life partners must allow us, in turn, to “walk lightly”. Anyone who likes to turn their backs on us to remind us of our failures, whispering to us where to go and which paths to avoid does not promote our fulfillment or our happiness.
  • Walking without weight is knowing how to put aside what hurtsthat vetoes our self-esteem and our identity.
  • Advancing in freedom also implies know what our priorities are. It is an exercise in reflection that we invite you to do now.

Once we know what is most important to us, we just have to fight for it. Everything else is secondary.

It may interest you: How to escape your painful emotions

Self love is a relationship that should last a lifetime.

Happiness is a state that comes and goes, we know that. We also understand that the fundamental thing is to have this internal balance where thoughts harmonize with our emotions and, in turn, with the actions we carry out day by day.

  • This perfect mechanism where the mind and emotions work together to be serene creators of our reality, is also based on an essential psychological construction: self-love.
  • Self love is the bond that binds us to ourselves and not next to anyone. It is not other people who tell you when you should be happy or not according to their whims.
  • It is we ourselves who must fight every day for our well-being through self-love.

When a person feels good about himself, when he extinguishes his fears and sows his horizon with illusions, then happiness arises from within to embrace those around him. It is something worth promoting.

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